This situation sends me into Fight or Flight, yet it happens every day. Like everyone else, I have to accept the fact that to the unaware eye, the path my brain takes to deeper, varied locations, before offering a verbal answer, looks like I have no input. Helgoe points to studies showing the path our brains take when responding to outside stimuli-it really is longer, lighting up deeper and more varied parts of the brain. It doesn’t by any means say we are smarter. It does point to the fact that we gather more information before speaking.
I had never seen an explanation of this kind of exchange written down, before Helgoe. I had to make a meme of her quote. I think it is an excellent, step-by-step description, of what we face when talking with extremely talkative extroverts.
The problem is, we can understand this, as we seek to understand why we get cut off all the time, rushed through complex thoughts and told to hurry by people who just took 5 minutes verbalizing a minute of relevant content. The people who need to understand why we often answer more slowly, however, will often brush the entire thing off to over-sensitivity or us not being aggressive enough.
Intros on the spectrum tend to ask “why?” a lot and “what if?”, which is why we tend to do more research into introversion. I’m pretty sure many extroverts don’t know they are extroverts. Which may be why so many claim to be introverts ;p
When we do cut off a person telling us to hurry, as I had to at a retreat this weekend, it throws us off our thought and it takes longer to get back on track. This even goes for visual clues, like rushing your hands in a circular motion. People also think we are rude-to counter-interrupt an interrupter.
So, if you want us to speed up, don’t interrupt to tell us so: We may have been done by the time your interruption was over. We let you talk it out, because that is how you think. If you give us a minute to process your words, you may find we have something to add to the conversation.
Just sayin’ 😀
Many of us have more to say than we voice outloud. Sometimes, we get talking amongst people we sense will listen and understand us. Sometimes we are right and our words do not fall on the wrong ears. Often enough, our brave moment sharing our inner thoughts, results in a room of people staring at us, dumbfounded. Either way, contrary to popular opinion, we can talk your face off.
And then we STFU.
I never thought of Martin Luther King Jr as an Extrovert or Rosa Parks as an Introvert. Susan Cain makes a compelling argument for our society’s need for both “types” on the spectrum-One without the other makes true Progress more difficult. Introverts have a tremendous amount to say and much influence to give. And sometimes we need someone Shiny, boisterous and able to sway a crowd to get our point across.