Striking Silence

silent_1421649880Sometimes we remain quiet. For our own good. And not to rock the boat.

In this New Year, make a pledge to yourself to speak up when you need to. What you observe and notice may go ignored if you do not speak your truth. Eventually, you will find those that can truly hear the remarkable things you have to say.

So there 😀

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Leading as an Introverted Female

Well, we have reached the final day of January. Today will wrap up my Introvert Awareness Month project. It is my last day to blast the internet quietly, with my selection of ready-made and home made memes. I’ve covered leadership, relationships, inspiration and neuroscience.

 

(shared by Kerry Robinson)

(shared by Kerry Robinson)

I’ll be posting 4 posts today, as my life has gotten so outwardly motivated that I’ve taken the last few days to be wonderfully, entirely by myself. Back to back meetings, recovering from a 32 person “retreat” and a town hall. I’ve also shared a proposal for burnable art that is very close to my heart. Sharing my truest of hearts is quite draining when time goes by without any real response. On the flip, a few of my crafty friends have signed on to assist in the build. So, there is validation from certain friends.

I have four new bosses in my volunteer work and that takes some getting used to as well. Group dynamics are tough to navigate as it is, before the introduction of a bunch of new hierarchies that have yet to settle out. I also lead the first meeting of my department for the season. I am getting a little run over, similar to last year; Interruptions, derailings, Well-meaning intent.

I find myself reading up on managing people and facilitating meetings as an Introvert. I’m hunting for how to handle interruptions specifically but for now, this article has some good, basic advice for Introvert Leads, from . Following that is an article on the hazards of being female and a lead. My experience lies somewhere in between.

http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/apr2011/ca20110414_185829.htm

http://time.com/3666135/sheryl-sandberg-talking-while-female-manterruptions/

Why people think Introverts have nothing to say (& why I correct people who rush me)

 

 filling_the_interpersonal_space_with_talk-628717

This situation sends me into Fight or Flight, yet it happens every day. Like everyone else, I have to accept the fact that to the unaware eye, the path my brain takes to deeper, varied locations, before offering a verbal answer, looks like I have no input. Helgoe points to studies showing the path our brains take when responding to outside stimuli-it really is longer, lighting up deeper and more varied parts of the brain. It doesn’t by any means say we are smarter. It does point to the fact that we gather more information before speaking.

I had never seen an explanation of this kind of exchange written down, before Helgoe. I had to make a meme of her quote. I think it is an excellent, step-by-step description, of what we face when talking with extremely talkative extroverts.

The problem is, we can understand this, as we seek to understand why we get cut off all the time, rushed through complex thoughts and told to hurry by people who just took 5 minutes verbalizing a minute of relevant content. The people who need to understand why we often answer more slowly, however, will often brush the entire thing off to over-sensitivity or us not being aggressive enough.

Intros on the spectrum tend to ask “why?” a lot and “what if?”, which is why we tend to do more research into introversion. I’m pretty sure many extroverts don’t know they are extroverts. Which may be why so many claim to be introverts ;p

When we do cut off a person telling us to hurry, as I had to at a retreat this weekend, it throws us off our thought and it takes longer to get back on track. This even goes for visual clues, like rushing your hands in a circular motion. People also think we are rude-to counter-interrupt an interrupter.

So, if you want us to speed up, don’t interrupt to tell us so: We may have been done by the time your interruption was over. We let you talk it out, because that is how you think. If you give us a minute to process your words, you may find we have something to add to the conversation.

Just sayin’ 😀

Followed by Shushes…

 

socialintrovertstumblerMany of us have more to say than we voice outloud. Sometimes, we get talking amongst people we sense will listen and understand us. Sometimes we are right and our words do not fall on the wrong ears. Often enough, our brave moment sharing our inner thoughts, results in a room of people staring at us, dumbfounded. Either way, contrary to popular opinion, we can talk your face off.

And then we STFU.