If it makes you feel bad, it is not good for you

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Many people force themselves to stay in situations no longer serving them. Sometimes, we have little choice-a job or a place to live for example. But if something  consistently leaves you wishing you were something else or that someone would understand your ideas if you were only louder, more charismatic, a better networker, etc , it may be time to work towards something that values your strengths.

This is true for jobs, housing, relationships, groups you volunteer with etc. If you feel like you need to be someone else to be valued, leave. Or start planning your escape. We do our best work when we are loved and valued. Why put up with anything less in the long term?

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Striking Silence

silent_1421649880Sometimes we remain quiet. For our own good. And not to rock the boat.

In this New Year, make a pledge to yourself to speak up when you need to. What you observe and notice may go ignored if you do not speak your truth. Eventually, you will find those that can truly hear the remarkable things you have to say.

So there 😀

This New Year’s Eve, be Selectively Social

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Everyone has differing ideas of how to spend New year’s Eve; Partying with friends and strangers, watching other cities ring in the year with your closest pet pals. I’ll be spending time with a small number of people on the Oregon Coast.

No matter what you choose, if you do choose to be social tonight, remember it is perfectly fine to pick and choose who you spend time with. Even for an overly social event like tonight.

I’ll just leave this here: Manifesto by Cain

1554367_601681846571527_1073311751_n(1)(http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/sixteen-things-i-believe/)

I leave Introvert Awareness Month by sharing a Manifesto on the power of Introversion by one of the world’s most public Introverts, Susan Cain. Lots of people write about Introversion, but Cain has the big picture vision. And that is why she has been able to communicate with so many people, helping lots of us see ourselves as part of a bigger network of thinky types, in a bigger sea of fellow Intros than we may have imagined.  Thanks Susan!

Power in Introversion (if you know where to look)

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Laurie Helgoe was the first writer I read who described the scientific aspects of the Intro/Extro spectrum. For more on that, this site is super awesome. It examines brain patterns and dopamine vs acetylcholine, or, the two dominant neurotransmitters of extroverts and introverts. Fascinating.

http://introversiondefined.com/

Leading as an Introverted Female

Well, we have reached the final day of January. Today will wrap up my Introvert Awareness Month project. It is my last day to blast the internet quietly, with my selection of ready-made and home made memes. I’ve covered leadership, relationships, inspiration and neuroscience.

 

(shared by Kerry Robinson)

(shared by Kerry Robinson)

I’ll be posting 4 posts today, as my life has gotten so outwardly motivated that I’ve taken the last few days to be wonderfully, entirely by myself. Back to back meetings, recovering from a 32 person “retreat” and a town hall. I’ve also shared a proposal for burnable art that is very close to my heart. Sharing my truest of hearts is quite draining when time goes by without any real response. On the flip, a few of my crafty friends have signed on to assist in the build. So, there is validation from certain friends.

I have four new bosses in my volunteer work and that takes some getting used to as well. Group dynamics are tough to navigate as it is, before the introduction of a bunch of new hierarchies that have yet to settle out. I also lead the first meeting of my department for the season. I am getting a little run over, similar to last year; Interruptions, derailings, Well-meaning intent.

I find myself reading up on managing people and facilitating meetings as an Introvert. I’m hunting for how to handle interruptions specifically but for now, this article has some good, basic advice for Introvert Leads, from . Following that is an article on the hazards of being female and a lead. My experience lies somewhere in between.

http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/apr2011/ca20110414_185829.htm

http://time.com/3666135/sheryl-sandberg-talking-while-female-manterruptions/

Left vs Right: I feel the difference…

I know some folks no longer believe in left-brain vs right-brain dominance in people. But I can feel the difference.

Brain meme

I love my fellow introverts but I have historically had a more frustrating time with Intros on the left side of things. Except for some of my very close friends, who are gentle with my passions. (Thank guys!) I have a tough time, at least, if I am talking about something I am passionate about. Have you met me? I am super passionate or I wouldn’t be talking about whatever the topic may be.

Being told not to be attached or passionate about a topic sounds like gobbilty-gook. Being told not to put my heart into artwork is pure insanity. Left-Brained Introverts, often mathy-science-y folks, feel detached, less emotional, and more logical to me. I am very passionate and visual. Passion and cold facts do not always mix. Left brained folks are often less observant of people’s emotions or feelings and more observant of people’s wording or logic points. I guess I am thinking of a few specific people in my life. I do understand everything is a spectrum.

I realized the people who attack me the most for starting a Theme Camp for the Introvert spectrum (and our allies), they are left-brained Introverts. Who often refuse to believe in introversion, partially because non-scientists came up with Myers-Briggs. I love being told Introversion does not exist-by super obviously Introverted people.

Happens about as often as obvious Extroverts telling me they are Introverts. ;p

Add in Aspergers, Bi-polar, Social Anxiety etc and truly empathizing with each other becomes more complicated. It takes an extra level of gentle-ness and care to understand without alienating each other. I know I have made statements around out-loud processors only to accidentally insult an Aspy who is also an Introvert. (More needs to be written on the Intro and Extro natures of the Aspergers spectrum. The Aspy revolution is coming!)

For more on this topic, check out:

The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olson Laney

and

http://www.quietlyfabulous.com/2011/01/05/not-all-introverts-are-the-same/